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Aldi made headlines earlier this week with the unveiling of a new cheese line from their Happy Farms brand; each flavor was named after famous ’80s songs by Guns N Roses, Bonnie Tyler, Cyndi Lauper, Def Leppard and Wham!

The six assorted cheese varieties each featured a punny name based off a popular song from the 1980s.

So, what does any serious music blogger do in this scenario? Head to their local Aldi, buy all of the music cheese and various charcuterie accouterments and have an epic #WineWednesday.

My ranking of the Aldi music cheese was based on the following:

-How is the cheese on its own? 
-How is the cheese when paired with meat?
-How is the cheese when paired with the appropriate wine?

Below is my very scientific ranking.  I hope you enjoy it reading it as much as I enjoyed doing the research.

6. Billie Goat is My Lover

Actually, this one is not my lover. Compared to the other five kinds of cheese, “Billie Goat is My Lover” just falls flat. It doesn’t really improve when paired with wine or different meats.  It just isn’t the one.

5. Total Eclipse of the Havarti

Once upon a time, I hated Havarti. Now, I’m finally coming around. “Total Eclipse of the Havarti” is a very mild cheese, so it’s not very impressive on its own. But with a little prosciutto and the absurdly delicious Winking Owl Cabernet Sauvignon at $2.89 a bottle, you can turn this cheese around…bright eyes.

4. Girls Just Wanna Have Fontina

This fontina cheese was just a tad better on its own compared to the Havarti. When the working day is done, pair this with a Sangiovese.

3. Pour Some Gouda On Me

Step inside…walk this way toward this fantastic gouda.  This is the first of the Aldi ‘80s music cheese on the list that tastes really good on its own. It tastes great with both the prosciutto and the dry salami shown in the photo above.  Take things to the next level with a bottle of the Winking Owl Cabernet Sauvignon. (Shaking it up it optional.)

2. Sweet Cheddar of Mine

Easily the most surprising cheese of the line.  It pairs best with a Sangiovese, but it doesn’t need any accompanying meats. It tastes that good on its own! If you try it and disagree with me, I’d probably break down and cry.

 

1. Wake Me Up Before You Goat Goat

I’m not the biggest fan of soft cheese, but “Wake Me Up Before You Goat Goat” will put the boom boom into any charcuterie board. Obviously, you spread this cheese on the artisanal cracker of your choosing, but I would shamelessly lick this cheese off a napkin and not care what anyone thought. It doesn’t really need a wine pairing, but go with a Sauvignon Blanc.  A piece of dry salami is also a delightful add on.   

 

Erica Banas is rock/classic rock news blogger that loves the smell of old vinyl in the morning.

Erica Banas is rock/classic rock news blogger who's well versed in etiquette and extraordinarily nice.